Why Aren’t Men Asking Women Out?
Every now and then, a woman will sneak up to me after we speak at an event and with teary eyes choke out, “I’m not very attractive and men don’t ask me out. Like EVER.”
My heart aches when I see a woman in despair and hopelessness. They desperately want me to have a fix-it-all answer and I am left stuttering.
Helping a woman date well is pointless when there are no dates to go on.
I usually respond by going back to God’s word and reassuring them of his ravishing love for them and their true worth and beauty. But in all honesty, it’s a hard sell when a woman believes she is an ugly duck and no man is willing to fight for her heart and convince her otherwise.
Ruth Rutherford’s blog –I Kissed my Date Goodnight explores this topic in greater detail.
Although I am weak on answers, my husband and I do have an opinion as to why this scenario is playing out more and more often with single women.
And it’s not because we are JUST an image obsessed culture. It goes much deeper.
The problem is the over-sexualization of our culture. And porn magnifies this.
When men watch beautiful women expose and degrade themselves on a regular basis they begin to subconsciously believe they are entitled to a hot chick that operates in the same fashion in real life.
But there are a limited number of women who meet this elite criteria. That leaves the rest of us.
Prior to the first Playboy in mass circulation, it seems as though men were more likely to move towards marriage and relationship. A below average looking guy would pursue and love a woman who might not meet all of the societal norms of beauty.
Unfortunately, these days he would rather stay single and settle for his hand and a box of Kleenex. Real women are complicated and take effort but a fantasy porn woman will bark at his command.
Porn is cheap and easy.
Many men’s expectations have become so distorted by pornographic images they lose the ability to even be intimate with a woman not digitized on a screen. As more and more men isolate, real women suffer the consequences and ultimately men do too, although they may not realize it until it’s too late.
The truth is we have an enemy who loves to destroy relationships and porn ruins a man’s ability to engage in healthy dating relationships before he even begins.
It’s not like this is a new scheme of Satan’s. Reading throughout the Bible, rampant promiscuity is not fresh to modernity. It’s just getting more prevalent and widespread with technology.
No Easy Solution
Sadly, there are no any easy or pat answers. I have a teenage son. I know all too well it’s a battle men face on a daily basis with an adversary who plays into their weaknesses.
I wish it were different. But until the day Jesus returns I believe many of us will be left wanting and craving for something more.
What do you think?
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