Fred, George and Goldilocks

Christmas 2012 Kolby 4

Fred and George still haunt me.

Not in the way they used too, I mean I’m not afraid of ghosts anymore, but their names still bring back delicious terror.

You see…daddy told me when I was a wee tot that two ghosts lived inside the walls of my bedroom and if I dared to climb out of my bed they would get me.

Let’s not even bring up how demented this is.  When I’ve suggested it was a form of child abuse to my dad he still falls over laughing. 

But one day I realized, like Jim Carey in the Truman show, that no apparition appeared if I defiantly stuck out a toe or a limb.

I caught on pretty quick that my reality was not REALITY.

Eventually I worked up the courage to run like a bat out of hell out of my room and sneak over to my mom’s side of the bed who always let me in for a cuddle.

I thought a lot about Fred and George last night because my toddler refuses to stay in her bed.  And after two weeks of not sleeping and now fighting off illness (probably from massive sleep deprivation) I’m almost ready to ask Fred and George for some advice.  They keep appearing in my feverish hallucinations taunting me with a whole night of un-interupted slumber.

Kolby moved into the BIG GIRL BED a few weeks ago.  We took the crib down, stored it in the garage and unknowingly kissed sleep goodbye.  Most of the time I take the hit for Tim, because out of the two of us I do better without sleep, although he had to step up last night as I borderlined pneumomia.

It’s the second time we’ve tried the BIG GIRL BED.  After a failed attempt a year ago, we aborted mission and put her back in the crib.  Last time it was because she potty trained and needed help to use the restroom in the middle of the night.  I couldn’t handle waking up every three hours to help her tinkle, so up went the porta-crib again in our room so I could at least keep the lights off as I guided her tiny butt to the potty.

But now she is physically too big to stuff in the porta-crib.  The fact that she was complaining about her legs and arms hurting might have been an indication we had played out that card a little too long.

In goes Kolby into the BIG GIRL BED and within one hour she has snuck back into our bed to go horizontal on us and kick one of us in the head or the kidney.  She lies on me, throws elbows in my chest and breathes her sweet baby breath in my face.

I put her back to bed.  Tim puts her back to bed.  Press repeat over and over until we are so exhausted that Tim goes to the sofa around 3:00am to salvage any sleep whatsoever and then Kolby kicks the crap out of me until 6:00am when I have to get my teenager ready for high school.   

I am a ZOMBIE and I am way too old for this.

I’d toss her out like a sailor if not for the fact that I love her soooooo much.  This third baby of mine has both daddy and I whooped, sucker tied and wrapped around every phalange. 

She is terrifically spoiled and we are wimps when it comes to her little grin and Goldilocks.

Is bribery the next option?  Will it take a puppy to get her to sleep in her bed?  I’d gate her in but she shares a room with her sister with an adjoining bathroom to her brother’s room.  She’ll just walk right through into his room and find us.  She’s smart like that.

This kid needs incentive…

What makes a toddler want to stay in bed?

All advice will be considered except ghosts and spanking.



  1. Okay, first: I LOVE the new blog look!! I guess I’ve been reading your posts in my email only and not hopping over to see. Regardless, it looks great! A perfect reflection of sweet and scrappy you. 🙂

    Now for the sleep issue … Ugh. I can SO relate. Our son didn’t sleep through the night once until he was three years old. Even then it was spotty. (And people wonder why we haven’t had more … My husband is still recovering.)

    What actually worked for us involved a combination of incentive (tangible prizes) and transferring his co-sleeping habits toward his sister’s room. Our two are just 17 months apart, and it worked really well. She was in a full-size bed (since her room doubled as our guest room at the time), so it easily fit them both. I realize that “solution” probably isn’t an option for you and Tim, but the incentives might work. We would basically bribe Zach to stay in bed. We got him a little headlamp and told him he could read in bed quietly. One might think he’d stay up all night and not get enough sleep, but that never happened. He would “read” for about 15 minutes and then fall asleep. If he left his bed for anything other than the bathroom, he lost this “big boy” privilege. We also made a big celebration of any time he made it all the way through the night without joining us — his favorite breakfast or pizza for lunch the next day … anything that he really, really liked and wanted.

    I don’t know if any of this helps you or not. I hope so! I’ll be praying for some sleep and health for all of you!

    • Hi Tanya,
      Good news! Last night Kolby slept all night in her bed! Finally. And it couldn’t have come at a better time because I have the flu and have been in bed for a week. Now, maybe we can all get some sleep and mommy can get better faster.

      My friend Cheri did the design for my blog. I think she did a fabulous job! Please refer any friends who need great design on over.

      How are things? Is life settling down after the storm and all the repairs or is it a new normal?
      I can’t imagine all you guys have been through as a community…

      Sam 🙂

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