Kolby refused to put it on again.  Here she is holding the Elf Fail...

Kolby refused to put it on again. Here she is holding the Elf Fail…

It’s New Year’s Day.  I’m languishing in a pair of flannel pajamas—mimosa in hand—at my friend’s two-year-old “Pancakes and PJ’s” birthday party.

I’m sleepy after all the New Year’s Eve frolicking, but my caffeine buzz has a few jolts left to motor me through the morning.

Suddenly, a passel of little girls rush by adorned in flowing blue Elsa “Frozen” dresses.  My four-year-old is not one of them.  She is still in her Justice Jammies.

She looks at me with pleading eyes.

“Mommy, can we run home and get my dress?”

We decide to send daddy and he returns with the prized new Christmas dress.

Kolby marches into the bathroom, dress in hand, rips it off the hangar and crams it over her little head.

(Santa’s elves’ made her fine costume via Costco.  It was $16.99.)

Santa scored—or so I thought.

It seemed nice enough in the store as daddy followed along with the secret ELF cart and I texted him all the things Kolby cooed over.

Out my daughter shuffles from the restroom—arms askew, she stands and moans like a child stuffed into an over-sized snow-suit.

“Mommy, it itches!”

The cheap sparkly tulle sleeves stab into her soft arms.  I place them down by her side but they pop right back up with squeals of irritation.

“It hurts Mommy!  Santa brought me a SCATCHY Elsa dress”

Tears threaten to fall from her disappointed eyes.

She looks around at the other girls outfitted in the Disney Store’s finest and much more expensive version of the dress.  Their dresses are flowing, silky and elegant—unlike Kolby’s.

I want to crawl in a hole.

But then Daddy saves the day.

“Honey, let’s wear your blue jammy top underneath.  It matches real pretty!”

(This man is such a treasure!)

Kolby runs off to change and I am left with the other mommies mocking me–as only good friends can do.

It was one of those moments I knew my kid would wind up in therapy for twenty years down the road.

Therapist: “Kolby why do max out your credit cards to wear only the finest designer clothes?”

Kolby: “Because all the other kid’s Santa shopped at Disney but my Santa bought me scatchy shi… from Costco.”

And I was reminded in that moment that sometimes cheap is just cheap.

And Santa needs to step up his game next year.


How it’s SUPPOSED to Be

supposed to be

It’s never obvious but it’s there all the same—lingering expectations—the unstated kind. And it starts from day one—at least it did in my marriage. Because we all believe marriage is supposed to be... (fill in the box) We stand at the … [Continue reading]

Driving Lessons

As school budgets shrink and vital programs get axed, I believe we have lost something CRUCIAL to humanity—DRIVERS ED.  Clearly the brilliant superintendant that made this monetary cut had GROWN children. Parents have now been tasked with a … [Continue reading]

Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Tim Keller on his 45th Birthday!


  I wrote this 4 years ago!  (Geez we looked good back then Keller) Tim, you have walked by my side through the loss of both my parents, too many miscarriages to count, the raising of our three amazing kids, babies and Tweens and teens, … [Continue reading]

When Your Normal is My Crazy


This is me.  This kid…this is my inner-(mini) me. And NO, it’s not my mom talking.  It’s my pastor husband. This picture is HOW I FEEL after church—like I want to bang my head against the wall because my husband won’t stop talking. Being … [Continue reading]

Why Mom’s Can’t Get Sick

Christmas 2014 13

“Are you sick?” my friend inquires. “Yes,” I squeak out through strained vocal chords. She gives me the look—hands on hip, waving a spatula with a baby on her hip and toddlers whizzing by her feet. “Mom’s aren’t allowed to get sick. You know … [Continue reading]

The Man Thing


They say women are complicated. And I agree—wholeheartedly—but I don't think men are as simple as some suggest. It’s not just sex, food and more sex that makes a man tick. There’s something else I can’t put my finger on. All I know is that I … [Continue reading]

The (married) Sex Challenge

Christmas 2013 1

July 2014 There’s an article traveling around social media. It’s one of those kinds of blogs—you know the sexy kind. It catches my eye. I fervently look to the right, then to the left, then do the fast swivel to make sure no cameras are … [Continue reading]

Love is Not a Feeling

Here is our first of four video blogs about dating now viewing on Christian Mingle... (The first one was rejected by the editors because yours truly used a slang word for oral sex.) I know, I know...Sam we can't take you anywhere! After some … [Continue reading]

The Messiest Mess


A few years ago I tumbled into a river. In white pants and wedges—with a not so graceful leap over a rock—I slipped, squealed and dropped into the murky water. I emerged wet, dirty, embarrassed and bloody. My husband and son tried not to … [Continue reading]

%d bloggers like this: