a little mischeif
Giggles erupted from the back seat. My radar went up.
I glanced in my rear view mirror and watched in amusement as four-year-old Kolby placed a small black cauldron on her head. The little black “pot-of gold” was intended to hold leprechaun bullion—a gift from pre-school on St. Patrick’s Day.
“Hey guys, look at me…I’m a POT-Head!” my little lamb exclaimed.
And the car exploded in raucous laughter. My teen and tween gave me THE LOOK while Kolby beamed at the great response to her joke.
“Shhhh…guys, I know it’s funny, but she’ll figure out that it will make people laugh and it will be part of her new shtick,” I warned my older kids who were wiping the drool off their laps in hysteria.
“So, bud, I asked my son, trying to change the subject, “How’s the whole drug thing going on at your school?”
My son smirked. “Mom the kids who want to do it are still finding ways to do it, despite the drug tests.”
“How do you get around that?” I asked.
“There are ways,” he said.
“Really, UMMMM, wow!” I muttered.
I Googled it later and yes this does exist. I used my work computer (at home) which I thought about later and regretted. Probably not a good idea to look up “how to pass a drug test” on the work computer.
So, I found out you can buy synthetic urine at smoke shops. They come in little pee bags.
It’s good to know that our youth is always one step ahead of the curve.
I thought carrying a flask into prom was bad. How would you like to walk around with a pee bag in your thong, under your mini-dress and heels?
So, my friends who are parents of teens, if you find a small pouch with something yellow in it, please don’t think it’s a drink and give it a whirl. It might be time for a discussion with your kid about the perils of weed and brain cell development in teenagers.
I also think it might be time for blood tests although that might open a whole new can of worms (or vampires?).
We pulled up to our house and jumped out the car. A group of neighbor kids and moms was standing in our yard.
I heard Kolby in the distance yelling as I unloaded the groceries out of the back of my SUV, “Hey guys, look at me! I’m a Pot Head!”
Yep…I knew that one was coming.
broken-FUL
I’m in a Catalyst coma.
Thoughts are running amok and drool escapes as I try to unpack all the wisdom dumped on me in the last two days.
Catalyst is one of those conferences that seriously messes with your brain. It provokes and convicts and makes me stop and think about EVERYTHING.
And in the quiet moments over the last few days, one word keeps running through my head.
broken-FUL
I guess it’s not really a word, but it’s what I hear.
broken-FUL
God whisper’s to me, “Sam you are BROKEN right now. A little beaten down, raw, and vulnerable…and yet you are more beautiful to me in this mess than in any perceived sense of strength or control you think you might have. In your weakness I fill you with my presence. So you are FULL of me.”
broken-FUL
And although I HATE suffering at the time, I’m truly beginning to see its ravishing beauty.
Suffering disrupts life as we know it and flips us off the hamster wheel of self-importance and busyness into a heap of wet fur and woodchips.
Why the wet fur?
Because our water bowl always gets knocked over when we fly off the wheel screaming bloody murder. There’s ego and pride, control and image management hurling through the darkness.
All that spinning and craziness is a messy affair.
But it’s in the mess where he does his best work, isn’t it?
I saw Jason Russell speak today at Catalyst and it reminded me of this truth loud and clear.
For those of you not familiar with him–Jason Russell is the director of Invisible Children–the most watched documentary in the world about the abduction of children who are used as child soldiers by Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). This film centers around a group of Ugandan children who traipse miles each and every night to places of refuge in order to avoid abduction by the LRA.
After Russell’s film went globally viral, (over 120 million views in 10 days)Russell experienced a mental breakdown.
Basically, God threw him off the hamster wheel.
It was embarrassing. His woodchips/wet fur mess moment involved his bare bum running through the street and a global audience just waiting to rip him to shreds.
Jason suffered. Jason went down. Jason’s celebrity status crashed and burned.
But not only did Jason survive the ordeal, he’s now a better leader because of the suffering.
Today, two years later, Jason’s mantle is shrouded in humility, compassion and DEPENDENCE on God. Jason knows the 28 year-old war in Uganda will end only when God decides it will end. And it won’t be because Jason made the War Lord “Kony” famous.
I sat in my chair and thought about Jason.
“See,” God whispered. “broken-FUL.”
Here is a man who had everything, lost everything, suffered and suffered some more, and is now empty-handed offering his everything to Jesus.
BROKEN. BEAUTIFUL. FULL OF GOD.
broken-FUL
And that’s my prayer tonight. I’ve got nothing God. I’m stripped. Bare. Take my nothing and FILL me FULL of you.
Where is God in your mess?