Day 3 of the Gossip Detox Series
(aka: Just because it came out of your mouth doesn’t mean it started there.)
There’s a verse I’ve wrestled with for years. It’s short. Sharp. And just annoying enough to be true.
“Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
— Luke 6:45
Ouch, right?
Because if that’s true… really true, then the salty, sarcastic, and slightly unkind things I say from time to time? Yeah… they didn’t just come from nowhere. They came from me.
Deep breath.
Now, before we all spiral into guilt and start deleting our group chats, let’s take a second. This isn’t about shame. This is about awareness. It’s a heart check, not a scolding. And I’ll go first.
Spiritual Arrows
So, here’s the thing: sometimes my words are, well… less than righteous. Not always. But occasionally. (Okay, more often than I’d like to admit.)
And every time I say something unkind about someone—even if it’s low-key, even if it’s funny in the moment, and then that person walks by? Instant gut punch. Like I shot an arrow I can’t retrieve. It didn’t physically pierce them—but it nicked something in me. In my heart.
Because even when our words never leave the room, our spirit knows what we did.
Gossip Isn’t a Mouth Problem
Let’s be real for a second. Gossip doesn’t just come flying out of our mouths because we ran out of things to say or we had two glasses of wine and slipped. It comes from deeper stuff: our wounds, our brokenness and our ego.
- Validation: When we feel small, saying something that makes me look better or “more together” than someone else gives a cheap little ego boost. It feels good—for about 7 seconds.
- Control: Sometimes gossip is about owning the narrative. If you can plant the idea first, you get to set the tone, steer the room, or protect yourself from being misunderstood.
- Comparison: Christian women are so good at this one, aren’t we? We’ve learned how to wrap critique in spiritual packaging. (“We all need to pray she just needs to surrender that area to the Lord.”) Really?
- Entertainment or Status: And then there’s the one that stings the most—repeating something juicy because it makes you feel in the know. Like being validated by your proximity to information. (Even if that info is half-baked and wholly unconfirmed.)
None of these motivations serve anyone. And they create a distance between us and the heart of God.
💃 Dance Moms and Dodging the Fire
There’ve been so many times, especially as a dance mom, where I’ve had to make a choice in the moment:
- Walk away from a gossip tea party
- Step in and change the subject
- Or go find the dads and talk about fantasy football and work
Sometimes I’ve gotten it right. Other times… not so much.
But the older I get, the more I’ve learned: It’s not about controlling the room. It’s about guarding my own heart… and my peace. Because once a fire is lit, you don’t always get to control what it burns.
Reflect
Take five minutes and sit with this:
What have my words revealed lately about what’s going on inside me?
Fear? Envy? Insecurity? Exhaustion?
Or maybe… a heart that’s just been running on empty?
Reset
- Is there someone I’ve spoken about recently that I need to pray for, or even apologize to?
- What’s one thing I can say instead of gossip when I feel the urge to speak?
- Where can I invite God to heal what’s leaking out of my words?
Coming Up: Day 4 – “How to Shut Down Gossip Without Being Awkward or Self-Righteous”
(Yes, it’s possible)
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